The World According To Char

WOMAN'S POEM
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One, who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One, who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

MAN'S POEM
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

So, my neighbor and I went to our local McDonald's the other night.
Normally we would go through the drive thru, but this particular night it
was quite busy, so we went inside instead. While we were waiting for
our order, a young lady with a blonde ponytail and a silly baseball hat
with a colorful, fluffy ball on top approached the counter.

blonde: Do you have any of the balls left from the ball pit?
cashier: What?
blonde: I just need one of the balls.
cashier: What balls?
blonde: *starting to look quite frustrated* I need just one of the
balls from your ball pit. They're probably back in the storage room or
something. I didn't see any out in the play area."
2nd cashier: *looking confused* We don't have a ball pit.
blonde: I just need one ball from your ball pit! I know you have to
have them somewhere."

There hasn't ever been a ball pit in the play area at that particular
McDonald's. I hope she was on a scavenger hunt!

1. Elaborate on your default icon.
skylights make for great effects.

2. What's your current relationship status?
working on beginning a relationship with a wonderful man... *looks dreamy*

3. Ever have a near-death experience?
yes, but it was a bad time in my life that i prefer to keep in the dark recesses of my mind, only to draw upon in times of strength.

4. Name an obvious quality you have.
the ability to make people smile... no matter what!

5. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
crazy bitch!

6. Name a celebrity you would marry.
johnny depp! hands down! no contest! he's such a freaky little man. i just love him to pieces!

7. Who will cut and paste this first?
i did!

8. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
linda blair from the exorcist and angel

9. Do you wear a watch? What kind..
not any more

10. Do you have anything pierced?
my ears and my left nipple *rowr*


11. Do you have any tattoos?
a flaming cross on my shoulder and ...a rose on my right breast :)

12. Do you like pain?
what kind? *she answers with a grin*

13. Do you like to shop?
especially when manic

14. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
burger king, and wouldn't you know it, my burger got left in their microwave!

15. What was the last thing you paid for with your credit card?
credit? *confused look* what's credit?

16. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
"boi upstairs"

17. What is on your desktop background?
ME!

18. What is the background on your cell phone?
once again... ME! does this make me narcissistic? *scratches chin*

19. What was the last movie you watched?
pirates of the carribean part 2

20. What was the last book you read?
book? i didn't even read my college books! oh wait! intro to juvenile delinquency!

I am so proud of my son! He has been in theater for 2 years. This year he decided, "what the heck!" He has been in a few different performances. He was an extra in the ballet Gisselle at the Hult Center at the beginning of the year. In February, he played 4 separate bit parts in the Shakespeare play Othello, which was performed in the round! He was also in a play that was written by students at another high school, called The Decision.

Othello was a wonderful performance that got a lot of attention from many directions. A young man named Andrew, who played the role of Iago, won a scholorship for his performance. The whole cast was featured in the national Scholastic magazine. There were 13 pictures included with the article.

Tonight, my son accomplished something that no one else in our family has done. He recieved a letter at the awards ceremony for his part in the Othello play!


It was a wonderful feeling to see my son recieve this honor and to know that he is proud of something that he has done. He is beaming with pride and so am I.

My ex-husband was a carpenter and a "real man". So our family understood what "real tools" were. Any hammer that was less than 16 ounces was a joke. With that in mind... here is the story:

My children were young, (8, 5, and 3) and they were running around the house making lots of noise as usual. I was trying to talk on the telephone, when my oldest came up exclaiming, "Mommy, Tommy's got a joke!"

ME- "Not now, I'm on the phone."
DAUGHTER- "But Mom, he's got a joke!"
ME- *beginning to get angry* "I said not now, I'm on the phone! He can tell it to me in a minute."
DAUGHTER- "But Mom, he's got a joke and he's gonna hit me with it!'

At this, I finally turn around and see my 5 year old son standing in attack mode with a very small hammer in his hand.

WOW! I am so impressed with this new pic I took this afternoon. I hate to sound concieted, but what a goddess, ey! I'm turning me on!

I have decided to branch out my photo collection. I was originally just collecting pink elephants. A friend of mine accidentally started a random body part collection and it has taken off surprisingly well. I now have decided to collect pics of men, women, feet and butts. Well, maybe the feet and butts could be included in the random body parts, but I feel that I have enough to warrant their own folder. If anyone would like to help me add to any of my collections that would be awesome!

I find it rather interesting that I can take a picture of myself, looking straight into the camera, and it comes out just fine.



Yet every picture I take of you, your eyes are burning red! Whether you are looking into the camera or not!



Maybe THEY are afraid that I will steal their souls with my magic box!

I went to the drive thru at McDonald's today and was dumbfounded. I handed the girl a $10 bill.

girl: "I 'm not sure if we can still take these ones. Let me go ask my manager."

Then walked away. She came back and handed me my change. I was absolutely awe struck by her idiocy!

me: "Just because they have new money, it doesn't mean that the old stuff is no good."

girl: "I just wanted to make sure."

Can you believe it? The girl actually thought that the old bills were worthless! Like it's not money or something!

*palm to forehead*

Stupid people used to really bother me. However, over time it has become abundantly apparent to me that some people were just plain BORN STUPID! It's not their faults. There is nothing they can do. They try to get along in this world, but to no avail. They're just stupid! I'm sure you know the type of which I speak... You know, the idiot who sits at a green light waiting for a different shade, the jerk who cuts you off in traffic, then yells at you and shakes their fist because you almost hit them.

Then there are the one's that you are forced to work with. Such as the person that was being trained at my job tonight. It was only her second day on the job and she decided that she was going to go to the Director of the business and give him "feedback" on how we "should be" filling out our paperwork. She would ask questions and then interupt when we try to give her an answer and argue about it. Then have the nerve to ask, "Why are you making it so hard?"

I hope I don't have to work with her often. I also can't wait until business picks back up. She thought we were busy...HA! Things are the slowest I've seen them for the last three days, I've worked there for a year!